Say Goodbye to Hope, Say HELLO! to Faith

Hope vs. Faith: Is it really a valid comparison?

Until recently, I would never have told you that I had given up hope on my TF relationship. However, due to new insights, I've realized that hope is based upon having expectations of a particular outcome. At least, it is for me.

Instead, I've chosen to have faith in my divine counterpart and to have faith in the universe, in divine timing. Why do I think a concept like faith is better suited for my union? Well, because of a few things.

1) Expectations are for old, 3D relationship paradigms.

I realized, quite early on, that trying to control or 'pin down' my TF would not help our relationship, it would only hinder it. Throughout our journey together, one of our common themes/challenges was that of learning hold old relationship paradigms rely heavily on a linear progression of feelings, emotions and commitment. For my TF, he's healing old heartaches and heartbreaks. This led him down a path of creating un-connections with women. For example, even though we had an intense connection to each other, getting to a place where I could be called his "girlfriend" was almost completely unfathomable to him. One of our separations occurred due to my insistence that we take it to the next level, and his response was that he "doesn't do commitment." I told him that I couldn't do the nebulous, half-way emotions thing anymore, and he didn't understand why it had to be so "final." From this conflict, I had to learn a lesson about relationships. I had to admit to myself that, perhaps, a commitment meant wayyyyyy more to him than it did to me. I mean, my TF is 13 years my senior, and I'm in my 30s. The idea of "dating" is completely different for him than it is for me--dating someone means that he's committed to engagement, to marriage, to "the end." I know it sounds extreme, but when someone is in their mid-adulthood, they don't quite look at dating as a fling. So what better thing to do than to create un-relationships that can only go so far. By blocking out true intimacy, he can never be hurt. He can never need to make that critical decision to move beyond his comfortable shorelines.

Even though hearing that commitment was something he "didn't do," I also heard the message of "I have been hurt in the past. I have been crushed by women. My ego is hurting--still. I have much to heal." In that case, I was able to shelf my expectations of what he'd be able to give and when he'd be able to give them. By being patient, pulling away from that old paradigm, I was able to discover what it means to see relationships from a different perspective. I learned to respect myself by respecting the heart-bounds of my beloved. This lesson has taught me how putting your own expectations upon what someone else is capable of is not the true path to 5D unions.

2) Expectations are from the ego.

When we create expectations for our divine counterpart to meet, it also creates a set of conditions. "If you love me, you'll call me." Or, "If you love me, you'll want to make plans with me." Thus, when our beloved fails to do either, we are hurt. We feel the wound of rejection or abandonment. We think, "Maybe he doesn't love me," or "What did I do wrong?" This is your ego talking! We have to break free from those ways of thinking! If anything, have expectations for yourself. Know what your healthy boundaries are. Know what you are willing to give. Make a list of things you know you want to contribute to in a relationship. Understand that each of us is going through this journey with our unique set of heartwounds to heal, and therefore, what I deem is a signal of love or appreciation may not be how my beloved would express that affection. Instead, it's important to focus on the now and appreciate the flow of love that you have between you, whether you are in physical union or not.

3) Faith is Freedom.

To me, having faith means that you simply have faith--nothing more, nothing less. Faith does not promise a particular outcome. By contrast, it permits your TF to explore their own potentiality and progress through their journey as they are intended to do so. Simply having faith gives them the freedom and the space to heal past wounds, to let go of that which does not serve them, and for you to also create balance within.

4) Faith offers you the opportunity to see the synchronicity in the universe as your journey unfolds.

If you see my photo at the top of the blog, you'll notice the necklace that I'm wearing. I am not typically an impulsive buyer when it comes to jewelry, but this necklace seemed to "jump out" at me when I went into this little gift shop in Stone Harbor, NJ. All the way to the beach that weekend, I allowed myself to open my heart up to faith. And the more I did that, the more I saw signs all around me that kept reassuring me that my heartspace was being prepared to step into my Divine Feminine role. So when I saw this necklace, something drew me to it. I passed it by at first and kept looking around the shop, but something said "this is for you."

I wore the necklace immediately, and the shopkeeper and I chatted for a bit. Interestingly, we both shared similar stories about our relationships. She's seeing someone whom she isn't sure wants to get married due to a bad break-up, and she, herself, is not very traditional in relationship values. I heard from her spirit that she truly did want to make a commitment to this man she was seeing, but that she also was unsure of the nature of love, of trusting through love. Part of your TF journey is to listen to these stories without judgment. You can hear the story behind the story, and hopefully, offer a little bit of encouragement to seek-out what your soul truly desires.

When I got home, I noticed something I hadn't even noticed about the necklace when I purchased it: it contains a side that is silver, and a side that is (rose) gold. In the middle, we have a line that separates the two, but at the top is a small diamond. I almost shit myself. You see, I told my TF a long time ago, before I really knew more about the TF dynamic, that I saw his soul (his inner self) as silver. He is silver, electric, flashes of blue and orange, very mercurial and humming with energy. He can "plug into" other peoples' energies and uses it to help them come out of their ego shell. It's an incredible thing to watch. But either way, I'm his "golden lion" (from my blonde hair--we have a joke about my "lion's mane"), and I've envisioned us as gold and silver. Then, when I see this necklace, I'm seeing our union. I'm seeing us, together. It's my daily reminder to have faith.

5) Hope is the gateway to faith. 

On my last and most profound astral journey (yes, I had one that traveled to 4 "dimensions"), the 2nd dimension was based on desolation--it was a lesson to show me about hope. Hope can lift you out of the darkness, even when there seems to be no way out. Hope is a necessary stepping stone in our lifetime journeys. It is the first pathway that leads to pulling yourself out of despair and darkness. Hope is the hand that picks you up when you fall down. Therefore, please know that I'm not dismissing hope from my life--I carry hope with me all the time!

Another important insight that I gained recently was that the next higher dimension was based upon faith--I went to 4 dimensions and was told that I had to "go back now." The next higher, the 5th, is based upon learning to have faith and letting go of control.  When it comes to my TF union, I know that choosing the pathway of faith is vital towards my next lesson in ascension. I choose to have faith not just to sustain our connection and make it stronger, but because I also know that it's my path. It's my mission to share how important faith is and how it differs from hope.

For me, I have to let go of thinking I know what my TF and my divine purpose is. Well...let's just say I have a pretty clear idea of what it is we're destined to do together, but I also have to let go of my expectations as to how we'll get there. That's something I've been working on as of late.

Finally, I hope that these insights help you! I have faith in each and every TF journey meeting its destiny, its divine purpose in divine timing.

Have faith.